Comments on: Our Children, Our Selves

By: inconvenientbody

inconvenientbody — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 17:09:53 +0000

You remind me of this time I went to a scenester NYC party and actually made up a name for myself. I think it was something like “Lakeesha” or something. Anyway, I went around introducing myself as my alter ego all night and actually did away with all my smalltalk jitters.

By: amy

amy — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 17:59:58 +0000

If you are really.. really good at using your imagination you can always pretend to be a social being (even if you are not) and before you know it your life will bring you to a crossroads where you can make your own choice. You focus on teaching Henry to use his imagination. Therefore, he will most likely become like you and will be able to make a choice about becoming (or not becoming) a social creature. The children that can sit back and observe other often turns into an adult that can listen. Many people just flap their lips and really have nothing to say at all. Also, Henry is still young. I once had the same fear, but if you expose your child to other children, like you do, then have no fear. When Natalie was 14 months old she would cry when we went to the playground because she did not want to be with so many children. I would say Natalie is still shy but she has come a long way.

By: inconvenientbody

inconvenientbody — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 01:31:53 +0000

He’s not offended yet. I imagine I’ve written a lifetime’s worth of offensive stuff for him to get to once he’s old enough!

By: inconvenientbody

inconvenientbody — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 01:31:08 +0000

Wise advice. Thanks so much.

By: Mom

Mom — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 17:49:04 +0000

You are so precious. Henry is a sweet little boy. I, too, was a child who “observed” rather than participated. I was shy to the point of weirdness. I would rather have not bought something if I had to ask someone where it was in the store or how much it cost. I did not join in with the other kids’ frivolity. It was just the way I was wired. Henry will be fine. Prod him just a little every now and then to let him know it is okay to have fun with other kids, but mostly, just let him be Henry the observer. He needs to know that he is okay the way he is.

By: Nancy

Nancy — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 17:48:47 +0000

one other thought,

how luck you are to speak of henry online without henry being offended!

By: Nancy

Nancy — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 17:48:09 +0000

My wise, outspoken sister, said to me yesterday. Don’t be your own mother. Don’t compete, don’t advise, don’t show any emotion. Henry has a loving mother.

By: joel2twentyfive

joel2twentyfive — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 12:24:26 +0000

I think Henry said it best when you asked him why and he said, “Because I don’t.”
I have one shy, reserved child in a family of loud mouthed extroverts. I’ve had to come to realize that she’s okay with that. It’s who she is and she’s doesn’t feel she’s missing out on anything.
I think the key is affirming who they are and that it’s okay if one is more of an observer. I suspect you will do both- observing and prodding. It’s what we do. I also know you’ll do a fine job for Henry, because you’re a really good mom.